Diaspora Speak: Finding new meaning in desi traditions

Every year, scores of Indians leave the country to find their fortune on foreign shores. Some of them come back, but others find themselves putting down their roots away from their home country. There are so many Indians who have migrated to various parts of the world, that almost every family has NRI relatives. And family keeps them back to India, creating a rich cultural confluence for those visiting and those visited. 

Shameeli Sinha, an NRI for 16 years, an ex-consultant and banker after her management education from IIM Ahmedabad, shares one such story. She was in India recently, for her parents' 50th anniversary, and went back with a bundle of good feelings.



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"Back from my parents' 50th. Met my clan, or several of them after 18 years. It's surreal to be part of such a huge network of people. Very gratifying and humbling at the same time. As NRIs we lose connection with the big fat family in many ways, especially since everyone is so geographically spread out even within India. You miss family functions, rituals, traditions and tell yourself it is not that important.

But it is. I saw 80 year olds travel on wheelchairs to be there. I saw old feuds forgotten and only love for being a part of each others' lives. I saw ladies, the true upholders of tradition, hobbling with their walker to someone to accept their gift as a mark of respect for seniority. I saw cousins sacrificing their sunday with their respective families and hopping on a plane/train twice in 24 hours just to be there for a few hours. I saw the importance of rituals- how every gift was thoughtfully put together along with sindoor boxes and bangles, essential ingredients for blessing the continuation of someone's married life. I wouldn't think of putting those in someone's anniversary gift but maybe I should.

We scoff at the idea of appearing old fashioned or "too desi". But it's beautiful. There is something humbling and also comforting, about watching small traditions being repeated over and over again and knowing their significance and the blessings that come with them. There is something even more humbling about watching the old bones go through so much trouble to uphold them.

I have never been one to accept rituals without questioning them. I can't, because a lot of them give out messages that I do not agree with. But maybe it's time to make more of an effort to embrace the ones that are purely good and have beautiful meanings associated with them."