A Special Parent: One man’s unique journey into fatherhood

“When I focus on this one strength, other challenges and weaknesses disappear. And this is what we should be doing as parents and teachers, since this, in turn, brings positive changes in the child”, says Aditya Tiwari, who adopted Binny, a special baby boy a few months ago. While Binny might have his challenges in the form of down syndrome, a weak heart and impaired vision, which led his parents to abandon him to an orphanage, the child was still born under an enchanting star.

Aditya, a software engineer working with Barclays in Pune, fought the system tooth and nail to adopt this very baby. In the process he made history by becoming instrumental in getting Indian adoption laws changed, to become the first single adoptive parent under 30. In 2014, Aditya was only 27 years old when he first asked the orphanage at his home town in Indore to allow him to adopt Binny. As per the then law, 30 years was the minimum age for a single parent to adopt a child.

But Aditya’s heart had been set on adopting Binny. “Binny held my hand and seemed to connect with me right away”, he recollects. And what started as a simple visit to an orphanage to distribute gifts on his father’s birthday, turned out to be the start of a life changing event for Aditya. “The orphanage staff mentioned that they had no issues with any child, except the special child, who had sadly, been abandoned” he says. This left him wondering why anyone would abandon their child. “I kept thinking to myself how unfair it was. No child should be abandoned. Every child should get a family.”, and it is this sense of righting what was wrong as well as a sense of paternity that drove Aditya to adopt Binny.

Despite the rocky start with the procedure itself, which involved writing countless letters to authorities, getting in touch with policy makers who could really make a difference as well as dealing with the threat of potential human trafficking of Binny’s by the orphanage, Aditya has found much support after the adoption actually took place. “Things have been blessed so far as there is a day care at office, which is a big boon for working parents. In addition, I get some time off to take care of my child as well” he says. Further, he adds “It is fair to say that the support systems are present at all levels – the office, family and the social environment. I have a great support system in my parents. There are also social media groups dedicated to parents of children with the down syndrome”

Besides this Aditya feels that, “The most important thing is to give your 100% of your love, care, and time to the child.” In ensuring that he is able to take adequate care of Binny’s special needs, he says “At home, we spent a lot of time analyzing in detail his schedule and requirements, in terms of food, mood, and small day-to-day changes,” but adds “Once these patterns are recognized, raising the child as a parent is the most normal thing in the world and comes automatically. All you have to do is love them, focus on their needs, and provide them with a safe environment.”

Binny has now been named Avnish, which is one of the names for Lord Ganesha. Aditya prayed to the chosen god for a miracle when he was facing obstacles during the process of adoption. And the gods have certainly rewarded him.